Yesterday I dyed up a 5-pound batch of superwash merino and nylon blend spinning fiber. It was really really hairy. It stuck to my hands, my hair, my shirt. Everywhere. I spilled a lot more dye yesterday than I normally do, so my arms were covered in purple and blue bruise-colored marks. My shirt was soaking wet because, well, because dyers are always in a state of semi-dampness when they dye. To finish the picture, my bandanna was falling off.
Cue the UPS guy.
So I open the door to sign for my package and the UPS guy bursts out laughing.
"You look like you've been in a fight with a cat," he wheezes.
I reply that I'm dyeing wool. "I'm a wool dyer. That's what I do. I dye wool," I say, a touch too proudly considering my current state.
Blank look from the UPS guy.
"Wool gets everywhere."
UPS Guy mouths "wooooool" silently.
"Ha! You know wool, right? The stuff that comes from sheep? You know? Wool? You're delivering wool right now. Sheep wool? In the box. That's wool. That's what I do," realizing that this might be one of those muggle moments Yarn Harlot is always talking about. There is no graceful way out of this. "You know....wool?"
UPS Guy blinks once.
UPS Guy blinks twice.
UPS Guy starts laughing again and turns to walk down the stairs. By the time he reaches the sidewalk he is clutching his sides from laughing so hard.
In other news, you know you're in a dyer's house when there is roving hanging from the chandelier.